Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the crush

Did you happen to catch the controversy brewing on my last post?

It all started out harmless enough, with an anonymous commenter suggesting that I write similar "month in review" posts for each of the triplets individually. Because as the children get older, I wouldn't want for any one of my children to feel that I loved them more (or less) than any other of my children.

I responded to the anonymous commenter that the effort that would be required for me to write similar month in review posts for each of my children would be rather extensive. Infact, part of the reason I have skipped a month here and there with Henry is because those posts take me a long time to write. And since we are transitioning out of naps during the day for the kids, the only time that I have an opportunity to update my blog is at night once every one has gone to bed and I've spent an hour or more cleaning up from the day.

And you know what??

Sometimes at the end of a long day, I don't want to gush about how much I love each one of my kids, individually. Sometimes I am so tired that it's a miracle I am able to update this blog at all. More times than once, I have dozed off only to wake up with my head collapsed on my keyboard and there are a few hundred rows of dgjhfkhjklldfgjk.

I do love each of my children. But I don't want to write about them all the time.

I've got other things to write about.


Like weekly weigh-ins. And favorite thing Fridays. And with what little time I have during the week, I'd like to eventually squeeze in a post here and there about closet organization; O'Henry bar preparation; the next steps in knitting; the snake I found in the girls bed last week; home school activities; what Charlie and I are going to do with the rest of our lives seeing as I need to return to work full-time in three months; and last but not least ... facial and toe hair removal.

Tonight I had intended to write about facial and toe hair removal.

But now, I am going to respond to the comments generated from my last post.

And not just the comments generated from my last post, but the TELEPHONE CALL from my mother this afternoon where she pointed out that during a conversation she had with my Aunt Grace earlier in the morning, they had both noticed that I no longer discuss the triplets very much on this blog and everything is about Henry. Henry. Henry.

So clearly he must be my favorite.

If I'm being perfectly honest, sometimes I do favor one child more than another. And this might trouble me, if I didn't notice that every day, my favor generally falls to some one new. From the time they were tiny infants, I have had a crush on any one of my children on any given day.

In so far as Henry ... he is still a baby in my eyes and he very rarely annoys me. He is just cute and cuddly and loves to be held. So my crush on him is rather constant.

As for the triplets, I'm currently crushing on all three of them. They are so unbelievably adorable right now with all of the observations and questions that they have about the world around them. They typically have me smiling all the time, except for when I am FREAKING OUT because they aren't listening to me and they are running about, trashing the house.

There's William who thinks he is Peter Pan and his sisters are Tinkerbell.

He'll stomp around calling for them, "Tink! Tink! Where are you?"

Much to my chagrin, for Valentine's Day, his father bought him an electric megaphone that has not been out of his grasp since Saturday morning. Yesterday he was up at 5 AM tapping on my sleeping head and looking for the megaphone that I had successfully (Thank God) hid the night before. Despite talking with him - for several minutes - he couldn't understand why I wouldn't give him his MEGAPHONE at 5 in the morning so he could go wake up his Tinkerbells.

William has the most vivid imagination, stocked with an imaginary friend named "Tresiam" that he talks about ad nauseam. Tresiam was swallowed by a whale. Tresiam was knocked off the chair by his sister and had to have stitches on his eye. Tresiam is going to be an astronaut. Then as if the most brilliant idea suddenly dawned on him, he'll yell out, "I AM GOING TO BE A ASTWONUT!"

After a long moment he'll ask, "You want to know what I want to be for Halloween?" When I enthusiastically reply, "An astronaut!" he'll shake his head and say, " NO! NO! I'm going to be Peter Pan!"

And then five minutes later.

"Do you want to know what I'm going to be for Halloween?"

"Um. Peter Pan?"

"NO! A SKELETON!"

And then five minutes later.


"Do you want to know what I'm going to be for Halloween?"

"Um. A skeleton?"

"NO! A FIREMAN!"

And then five minutes later.


"Do you want to know what I'm going to be for Halloween?"

"Um. A Fireman?"

"NO MOM! A ASTWONUT!"

And so it goes. On and on.

There's Carolyn who is a pint-sized version of me.

Not only does she look just like me, she loves sweets. Many a night I have been woken from a sound sleep to find her perusing the cupboards for a snack. After we discovered that she had eaten an entire bag of miniature marshmallows one morning while everyone was still in bed, we have had to hide various foods on top of the refrigerator. It cracks me up how she will innocently ask, "Why you put the chocolate chips up there? Why you not put those down here?" and then she'll point at the lowest drawer in the kitchen.

When she asked me that question tonight in regards to some oatmeal cookies we had bought at Costco baked earlier in the day that I was placing up high, I told her, "Because there is a little mouse in this house that likes to eat sweets. This little mouse will come out of it's hiding place at night when everyone is sleeping and it will nibble this and nibble that."

She looked at me with wide-eyes and asked, "A MOUSE? IN THE HOUSE?"

I nodded and continued, "YES! And it will tip toe around very quietly nibbling, nibbling." Then I asked, "Do you know what that little mouse's name is?"

She silently shook her head no, but when I reached my hand to touch her arm and whispered "GRACIE!" she screamed and jumped two feet in the air while giggling uncontrollably.

There's Elizabeth who is our sweetest child, except for when she's not. She is the most loving, gentle soul I've ever come across. All she wants to do is help. All she wants to do is smother her siblings with love and kindness.

But when she is over tired and feeling punchy, she is absolute hell on wheels, matched by none.

Tonight when Charlie and I went to the YMCA to squeeze in a run on the treadmill, I dropped the children off in the nursery and as I was signing them in, I overheard Elizabeth talking to one of the grandmother-aged nursery volunteers in a very soft voice. When I turned my attention to their conversation, I could hear Elizabeth telling her teacher that her friend was sick.

"My fwiend, Deana. She is sick. She has a bug in her tummy named canswah and she is in the hopital." She nodded her head before adding very matter-of-factly, "But I pway for her. And I pway for the people in the ambuwance. And I pway for the wittle babies in the hopital. Did you know I was a wittle tiny baby in the hopital? But I gwew up. I am gwowing and gwowing." As the teacher smiled at my little girl, I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

Elizabeth just has that kind of effect on people. Whenever I ask her where she came from, she will smile and say, "Daddy says I am a gift stwaight from God."

She sure is.

They all are.

17 comments:

  1. My Mother and your Mother talking about favorites?? ...So hard to believe!

    With your Mother's 9 children and my Mother's 5....AND NEVER-EVER AT-ANY-TIME IN ANY-OF OUR-LIVES COULD YOU TELL THAT Any of us where the favored over the other --- Ah hem...To my brothers and sisters: MOM made dinner for me last night!! ;-)

    Ah the joys of Motherhood!

    Love, Marg

    PS I know where each of your beauties get there special qualities...(from my Mother) ;-) Your a wonder, Jen. God Bless.

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  2. Gosh they are getting so big! I think I started reading here when they were just shy of 2! Time does fly even when you try not to blink.

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  3. I only have 2 kids but my theory is when you have more than 1 kid, you always have a favorite.

    I love my kids equally but differently as it sounds like you do too!

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  4. Since we are asking questions, I'm curious about why you write "Carolyn" but I assume actually call her Gracie. I guess I know Carolyn is her name and Grace is her middle name but I'm just curious why you still write Carolyn.

    My son's name is Francisco but we call him Frisco. Except my husband who sometimes calls him Francisco but that sort of bugs me because to me, he's Frisco.

    Anyway, I was just curious.

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  5. Apologies here, but people who don't have triplets are not really equipped to understand PARENTING triplets. Sorry - don't mean to offend with that statement - but its true.

    I totally understand your blogging about Henry right now - he is in the baby/toddler stage still - he changes so much from month to month - that is why we refer to a child's age in months during the first 2 years for pete's sake? There is a lot to document. After that - a child's development spreads out more over the course of a year.

    Anyway - as a parent of a singleton and triplets - there are also other dynamics. For instance - my husband and I do a lot of 1-1 with our singleton. However, we do far less with our triplets mostly because of the difficulty of pulling one out of a very tight knit group. I am sure people who don't have multiples have no way to understand that dynamic. . . and I would bet as time goes on you guys may have the same experience with Henry as he grows . . .

    I totally get it. Its not favoritism or anything like that.

    Yours in tripletness + 1 more - Jessica

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  6. OMG! People! Leave Jen alone! It's her blog - She obviously loves ALL of her children - Find something else to do people! Jen, you are doing a great job! Keep it up, and blog about anything you want! I enjoy reading everything you have to talk about, even toe hair! (I've always shaved mine).

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  7. OMG - I so didn't mean for this to come out this way. I really don't believe you love Henry more than any of the triplets. I said that in my post. And I totally understand how on any given day one or the other can be a favorite and it is really only because that particular child is te sweetest and EASIEST on that day. We all know how wonderful it is if at least one child is being easy on one day.
    So, I sincerely apologize for my post. Also, just to clarify, I didn't mean to say that you should do a "month in review" post for each child. That would be insane. I should have been clearer. I simply meant a post here and there dedicated to just one of the triplets. I'm very sorry if I upset you or your blog's readers.

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  8. I wonder if the person who posted that has multiples? I have twins and an older daughter and I find myself paying more attention to her, and focusing more on her little life. I know that in part it's because she my first. But also I feel like she needs more of my attention, and I worry more about her feeling left out. Her 2 y/o twin sisters are just so "together". I have heard this often about multiples - that they don't expect alone time with parents or feel that their parents didn't see them as individuals. Their whole identity is wrapped up in having same age siblings, and they don't feel slighted for having that amazing gift.

    So to me it sounds right that Henry is being singled out for something extra :)

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  9. That's beautiful. I fell asleep and hit my head on the keyboard though before I got to the end.

    Now that that's out of the way, can we please go back to toe hair? I shave mine off, so if you have a better system, you better fess up.

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  10. Um, you found a snake in a bed? A real snake? A live snake?????

    I would have to move.

    Bobbie

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  11. I'm feeling grouchy today so I will just say that anon. probably has none, or one, or two singletons. It's different when you have multiples and a singleton. They are all individuals and they all fall in and out of favor around here depending on moods (theirs and mine) and behaviors (theirs and mine). I agree with other comment it's your blog and you can write whatever you want. Who cares if you do month reviews for one and not the other/others? IMO the whole reason why kids become "it all has to be the same" is because the parents make a big deal about that from day 1 a sibling enters the scene. We don't do it here and many times one kid will get somethings others don't, and we don't "it's not fair" . . . hmmmmm . . . just sayin' Keep on bloggin'!

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  12. Nonis20@gmail.com2/17/09, 2:11 PM

    All I said was------
    It was great getting the triplet update. Wonderful pictures and get some rest yourself.
    It was Beth and I that casually commented about your favorite.
    (Thats a joke.)
    MY BETH--(favorite child) set me up on G-mail.
    Noni

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  13. You know what? I cry every time I read your Henry posts because that's how I feel about my singleton boy who came after twin girls. Do I love him more? Maybe, on some days, sure. But there are also many times (like when he isn't napping and the girls re being adorable) that I love them more. But he's my BABY and he demands more attention and I was just as in awe of my girls at this age too.

    I think that when you have multiples first you are so overwhelmed and so into moving onto the next thing that you don't savor it as much. I know this boy is my last and I want him to slow down so I can notice every little thing. I find myself documenting far more about his life than I did with my girls.

    Don't let those commenters get to you. The blog was entirely about the triplets when they were Henry's age. If you truly wanted Henry to get equal time, you DO have a lot of posts about just Henry to write!

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  14. Another point of view...

    As Henry gets older, he may appreciate a **little** extra attention over the trips as well, they get quite a lot of attention just for BEING the triplets!

    I'm sure you love all your children. I'm sure they all feel loved and appreciated, ALL of them. I've never doubted that reading your blog =).

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  15. A beautiful post about the trips. I understand why it's hard to write individual posts about them because they are such a unit.

    That picture of Gracie of the twinkling eyes - so, so, sweet

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  16. I have to say that when you had Henry I wondered how he was going to fit into your Amazing Trips blog. The shear madness that goes along with multiples (and the basic premise of your wonderful, humorous blog) just CANNOT compare to a singleton and I thought your dear Henry might feel slighted. But...you have, in my opinion, given him equal blog time by doing your 'month in review' blogs just for him.
    Keep doing as you're doing... it is perfect! You'll go crazy otherwise and I want to hear about the SNAKE in the girls bed and your other blog ideas.
    :)

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  17. All I have to say is that if that is the worst criticism of you as a mother (with triplets and a fourth no less!), then you are doing a pretty kick a$$ job.

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