Monday, September 24, 2007

it's a good thing I'm not easily offended

During a recent phone call with my mother, she told me that I sounded like a man on the video clip I uploaded of Henry.

When I asked "A man?!" She said "Well, either a man or someone that talks through their nose. You sound very nasally."

Maybe that explains why every time I try to sing to the children they'll yell at me "NO SINGING!!" and if they are close enough, they'll try to put their hands over my mouth to keep me quiet.

And here I thought I had a lovely voice.

Apparently my appearance isn't much better.

This morning when I walked in to the kitchen, William's eyes lit up and he exclaimed "Mommy! You a TELETUBBIE!!" When I asked "A teletubbie?!" He responded "Yeah!! You BIG like Tinky Winky!!"

My young son compared me to a Teletubbie, based solely on my size. It had nothing to do with the color I was wearing, because Tinky Winky is purple and I was dressed from head-to-toe in brown.

Which turned out to be a good thing.

Because when I took Henry to his third hearing evaluation (which he thankfully passed), he had the hugest blow-out I've ever seen in my entire life on this planet ... while I was holding him. It was so extreme it came out the back of his shirt and down his pant legs. And when I went to change him, he had poop on his shoulder blades and underneath his arm pits.

And it was all over me.

The technician who was completing the hearing screen smiled and said "Well, it's a good thing that your pants and shirt are the EXACT same color."

Ah yes.

Sh*t brown. That would be the predominant color of my new wardrobe.


  1. I looked at your picture before I read your post and I think you look great. Although I did click on the picture to get a closer look and your feet still look swollen to me. Since you aren't easily offended, are they still swollen? LOL! Seriously though, you look like you are shrinking! Lugging around a baby and cleaning windows becomes you!

  2. I am not sure how I found your blog, but it has become the highlight of my day. You are such a great story teller and I am sure that at the time the events are happening they aren't all funny....but I just about laugh my booty off with every post. I love your stories. I have no idea how you find the energy to type them up in such great detail...but I am so glad you do!

    Chrissie (also a San Diegan)

  3. You BIG like Tinky Winky!!"

    stop it! i cannot stop laughing. kids are tooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!

  4. As soon as I entered the lazy river at the pool this summer a boy mentioned "big butt" towards my general area, so I scolded him for being rude. He prompltly put his head down and took it. (not like most kids) As we continue around the lazy river it quickly becomes apparent that this boy had special needs.
    Which leaves one conclusion....I have a big butt.
    Love those armpit blowouts out in public. I had to bring my newborn home once wrapped in a blanket cuz I forgot an outfit:(
    I ditto chrisse!
    Love the picture!

  5. I looked at the photo and thought that you look great! I'm glad you told us which one is Tinky Winky though, because I had NO clue! LOL!

    Ooo... and blow outs... with three, er, four little ones, I am sure you have had WAY more than your share.

  6. my favorite blow-out story was on an airplane. yes. truly. and where do you go when THAT happens????

    and you don't sound like a man or look like a teletubby. sheesh

  7. The funny part is, Teletubbies is on in the background right now as I read your post!!

    How is it, when a two year old says something rude and unappropriate, it's still cute! We were at the mall last week and my two year said, very loudly, "he momma, I see your butt..." I think it was the way he said it, but I had to laugh" (and so did everyone else around me. I'm glad they got a good laugh out of it)

  8. Oh wow! I am really into the color brown right now. So much so, that I have to tell myself "not another brown top!" when I'm shopping.
    What does that say about my life that my color right now is sh*t brown?!
    Those diaper blow outs simply defy gravity. Our son had one once at 18 months old, in church. We actually had to go get paper towels and wipe up the floor in front of our pew DURING THE SERVICE. The teenage girls behind us were cracking up.
    Fond memories

  9. Funny how what our moms say STICK in our heads! My mental note after reading your blog: don't let my 6 month-olds ever watch Teletubbies!

  10. Like chrissie, I'm not sure how I stumbled upon your blog but I had to add you to my favorites list (which I never do) because it's so hysterical. I had twins and then a "surprise" baby (huge shock after struggling w/ infertility) in 18 months. I've been struggling with taking care of 3 kids, but when I read about how much you do with your foursome I seriously get motivated. I love that you manage to take them on walks....with the dog!! You are super mom! And by the way, you look fantastic! Definetly not tinky winky-ish. lol.

  11. Hi Jen,
    Delurking to say that you ain't no Tinky Winky (I oughta know-Teletubbies are big around here) nor are you nasally. I went back and listened to your video (I did discover if you click on it twice you get a lovely echo, however). I have 22 month old b/g twins and remember you from the Resolve board. I'm also a speech-language therapist and we are trained in voice...trained to listen for things like nasality, and honey, you're right, you have a lovely voice. I thought so when I heard the video the first time. And pretty face to match! I also lke brown! Have a great day-I enjoy your blog.

  12. I see another Michele said the same thing I was going to say. I looked at your pic too before I read and thought, "Wow. She looks great!"

    BUT, that was a funny post. Really, really funny about the teletubbie.

  13. Laughing SOOOOO much right now! I love the last line of each of your posts...what a riot you are!

  14. Out of the mouths of Babes!

  15. Just try singing "Miss American Pie"! I seem to recall much praise and applause for your "renditions"!